Ultimate Tips for Flying with Kids
Flying with kids is, without a doubt, the thing I get asked about the most as a regular traveler. It’s the daunting, unpredictable, exhausting, patience-testing potential downside of this thing that most of us love – travel. While there is certainly no magic formula to making flying with kids complete smooth sailing, I’m sharing tips today for how we have made flying with kids work for the last decade.
Living out of your home country and overseas from family and friends comes with a whole host of challenges, but top amongst these might just be the required amount of flying that you commit to in order to be able to visit and spend time with those you love. That has certainly been the case for our family, as we go on our eighth year of living in Europe.
When our oldest was barely one and we made our initial decision to move to Denmark, we were kind of thrown into the world of overnight flights and long days in airports with children. Since that time, we’ve added two additional kids and lived a LOT of air travel scenarios.
I’ve slept on airport floors, had cancelled/delayed flights more times than I can count, spent unexpected nights in connecting cities, run through airports carrying babies in ERGOS and toddlers on hips, cried in the face of many the airline employee, walked laps with energetic kids around entire terminals, and read the airline catalog aloud 87 times to pass the hours on the what-feels-eternal-9 hour-flight from Copenhagen to Chicago.
Basically, what I’m telling you is this: flying with kids is really hard. For a while. These days, it’s a lot easier and, dare I say, enjoyable? But even in the days when it was hard, the benefits we reaped as a family from being able to visit the people we love and see incredible places in the world made it worth it each time. Here are some of the most practical things I have learned from flying with kids.
1. Think critically about the carry on
What to pack in the carry on is maybe the biggest and most important debate in the preparation for flying with kids. We want everything, but we have limited space and want to be light on our feet when we have connections. Our general strategy is to bring one small roller board for the family and a backpack for each person.
It’s important that your backpacks or under seat bags don’t overload your space. You want to be able to stretch your legs out as much as possible, especially when your child falls asleep on you and you dare not move. I always make sure that both my backpack and my child’s backpack can fit under the child’s seat, because they don’t use the space to stretch out their legs and I need it to be able to move and adjust if they fall asleep on me.
Take out the essentials once you’re on the plane and put them in the seat back before you pack things away. Water bottle, book, headphones always go in the seat back for me. Chapstick and snacks in the backpack under the seat.
At the end of the post, I’ve written out my ideal packing list for both of these pieces of luggage. Read on to see that list.
Quick tip for carry-ons
One temptation with the carry on is to pack WAY too much. In general, less is more. Pack the things that you know are a home run for your kid and leave the things that will work for 5-10 minutes. Usually, your instincts on these things are right.
I tried for a long time to get my kids to love coloring on flights. I would bring all these markers and papers and they would use it for five minutes and then I would have to chase markers that had rolled under the seats. It wasn’t worth hauling because it just didn’t provide a lot of payoff. Maybe this works great for your kids – you know best! Just don’t take up space on long shots.
This is especially tempting with babies and toddlers. Attention spans are so short and screens don’t entertain yet. My first flight with a toddler I hauled the most stuffed backpack you can imagine thinking I’d packed my way to an easy flight. Seriously, my daughter ignored almost all of it. I think she played with the seat back safety manual more than most of the toys I packed. Her favorite things at home were the same favorites on the plane and the rest ended up being a burden.
Choose wisely and then know with younger kids that YOU are their best source of entertainment. Read to them, play small games together, walk up and down the aisles, get them to sleep as often as you can, let them climb on you, breastfeed at every opportunity. You just have to know and accept that you are signing up to be the entertainer for the length of the flight. If you settle into that roll, you will get through!
2. Decide how you want to move through the airport
Stroller vs. baby carrier
Another important decision to make is how you will move through the airport with younger children. Some opt to take a stroller through security and then check it plane side. I find navigating lines, buses (so many airports have bus transportation to different terminals), escalators and crowds with the stroller cumbersome. Not to mention, when connections are tight, waiting for the stroller becomes even more stressful.
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I prefer to check strollers with the luggage and carry on an Ergo baby carrier. Even if your child is more toddler than baby, you’ll be able to quickly move where you need to go, on and off buses or trains with ease. If you have extra time or get to your gate, it’s a great chance for your little one to walk off some energy.
Of course, if you need to have the stroller, just plan accordingly. Make sure your connection (as it is planned) provides enough time for you to navigate the airport (I would recommend two hours at the least for any connection that is crossing a border). Make sure your stroller can be folded down easily, as it will have to go through this process numerous times. Don’t overload it with stuff, as you will have to get those things on and off of the stroller multiple times.
Car seats
Another important decision can be whether or not to travel with your car seat. This is only applicable if you are purchasing a seat for your child under 2. If they are over 2, most airlines have rules stating that the car seat cannot be installed into the airline seat, so don’t bother bringing it. We have definitely carried on a car seat thinking that being strapped in would help our child to sleep. While it did work out, it’s such a hassle that I really don’t recommend it. It’s super difficult to get the car seat on and off the plane and limits space in your seating area drastically.
If you do feel it’s important, then I highly suggest looking into this wheelie attachment, that turns the car seat into rolling luggage and makes it much easier to get through the airport.
3. Pack snacks
Snacks are often the best form of entertainment, especially for younger ones who aren’t content with a movie playing on the screen on the back of the seat rest. These days, airlines are pretty scant on the amount of snacks they pass out, plus you know best what your kid’s snack kryptonite is. I am notoriously annoyed by snacks (ask my friends), but they really are the most useful tool on a long flight.
4. Dress comfortably
Seriously, even if it’s not a super long flight, you are going to be sat on, slept on and leaned on for many hours. Even if you get your kids to sleep, you probably won’t be because they’re all on top of you, so at least be comfortable while you do it! And this also goes for the kids. Let them wear something that they can be completely comfortable in. I don’t think they need specific pajamas, just loungewear that can go either way. Make sure to pack an extra layer for cold planes – really important if you’re flying overnight.
5. Stay on top of bathroom breaks
A mistake we have made often is neglecting to make the kids use the bathroom as landing approaches, thinking, well, we’re about to be off the plane and they can go in the airport. NEVER ASSUME THIS. Multiple times one of my kids has been in tears trying to make it to the bathroom after landing. As soon as the plane lands, the aisles are gridlocked with people ready to go and luggage out of the bins. This is not a good time to go to the bathroom. Think ahead about waiting times when bathroom needs will be super inconvenient.
6. Relax your general schedule and rules
There really is no better time to take a break from regular screen time or snack time rules than when you’re flying. I say this as someone who can have trouble letting go of normal routines, but flights are a great time to give your kids a day to unplug from their general rules. Obviously, the big ones still matter – being respectful and polite and patient, etc. – but we let our kids watch appropriate movies at will (unless it’s sleeping time) on long flights.
I used to really debate this, wondering if we should enforce breaks with hours of reading time or make them work on math homework. For us, the truth is that those are standards to maintain at home and then relax on special occasions. Partly because they love to travel, but also largely because of this big fun day, my kids love flying at this point in their lives.
Quick-tip: One exception to this is that we do not allow them to watch screens when off the plane. So, for example, if we are waiting in the airport due to a connection or a delay, they have to choose other activities. We’ll walk and explore the airport, play card games, read books, draw, etc. Screens are only allowed once the plane has taken off, which sets a nice expectation for what is possible when we’re out of the confined space of the plane.
7. Buy headphones for kids
If your child is old enough to enjoy the onboard entertainment, they will want to. There are usually entire sections for kids with age appropriate movies and episodes of kids shows. Headphones provided by the airlines are, in general, crap, and also meant for adult ears. You will spend the entire flight putting them back into your kids ears when they pop out.
I recommend proper headphones to save a lot of frustration. We have a pair for each of our kids that come with a splitter, so they can even watch something together if they want to. Also, keep in mind that wireless headphones are useless without a special adapter if you’re wanting to use the in-flight entertainment system.
8. Set a time where everyone will attempt to sleep
On overnight flights or if your child is still taking naps, it’s important to set an understanding up front that there is a time where you will try to get some sleep. In general, our family will all turn the in-flight entertainment or reading lights off at the same time. Creating the idea that it’s sleeping time helps them settle down. Staggering this time can create unrest in the one trying to sleep, so I recommend making it a group decision.
Bring the most manageable item you can that reminds your child of bedtime (a small stuffed animal or blanket is a good option). Follow any reasonable routines that you can and say goodnight. We also allow each kid a melatonin gummy to assist in this process, but obviously you should use these only if your child responds well to them.
9. Know that most of your fellow passengers have compassion
Having traveled numerous times solo with my kids, I can say that, with a very few exceptions, people are really kind to parents traveling with kids. They have either been in your shoes or can imagine being in your shoes, and know you’re working really hard to make the best of a tough situation. Do your best with your kids and then remember that THIS WILL END. Both you and your fellow passengers will be freed from the confines of the plane and go about your lives and stop thinking about these few hours in short time. Just hang in. Getting flustered and guilt-ridden helps no one.
10. Set an example of patience and peace
As mentioned above, I have traveled solo a lot with the kids. It can be daunting to be the one in charge of everything on a smooth day, not to mention the ones that go off track. I have lived all sides of this piece of advice, having broken down in frustration on the floor beside the service desk in one memorable airline screw up and then having been an unmovable rock on one particular good day of messed up airline travel.
Your kids really feed off of what they see on your face. You may be screaming inside, but do your best to manage delays and frustrations with a spirit of understanding that it’s all out of your control. It’s such a valuable lesson for kids that we have to make the best of situations that are handed to us. Flying is really good at presenting that lesson face on. Mostly, you just need to keep telling yourself that what you’re headed to is WORTH IT!
Carry-on packing list
In the roller board pack:
- change of clothes for your child AND yourself. Whatever happens to them on the flight will most likely also happen to you – trust me on this. If they spill their drink, they’re spilling it on you. If they have a blow out, it’s while they’re on your lap. It’s a pure example of parenthood up there.
- warm layer for everyone – planes are either freezing cold or blazing hot.
- extra books and card games or other items that are portable, but not needed to be super accessible
In the under-the-seat bag or backpack:
- snacks (both healthy and a few that are fun)
- diapers, wipes, etc. (if applicable)
- water bottle (children are usually allowed to bring on filled water bottles, but check with security at your airport. Even if you can’t, most airports have water bottle filling stations these days)
- children’s headphones
- hand sanitizer in a clear plastic bag
- small comfort item (like a small stuffed animal or blanket)
- book (either one for a reading child or few favorite read alouds for younger children
- small toys (for younger children) or card games/word puzzles (for older children)
Quick-tip: If you have multiple children, make sure each of their carry-ons looks similar. Pack a bag with the same snacks already divided. Make sure they each have their own headphones. Give each child ownership of one game. You get the picture. It prevents more questions and requests, creates a sense of ownership of their in-flight belongings and eases any drama, which you definitely don’t need on a flight.
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