Our recent trip to Scotland looks a lot like castles and rainbows and beautiful beaches in the photos. And it was. But it wasn’t just that. It started out with an excellent example of why your kids don’t need a perfect vacation.
An imperfect beginning…
We took an overnight flight from NC to Heathrow. Absolutely no one slept, but everyone was happy with movies and snacks for the most part. The joys of big kids. We got on the 2nd flight to Scotland and everyone passed out from sheer exhaustion. Until one of the kids woke up puking. Cool.
We arrived in Inverness (which may be the smallest airport I’ve ever been to) and tried to clean said kid up while waiting for our bags. I went to check in and get our rental car to try to speed up the process, only to find that our rental car wasn’t actually at this location. Fun.
We all had to grab a taxi to the downtown Enterprise location in order to get our multivan that I had reserved. Except when we arrived to said downtown Enterprise location, we found that they did not, in fact, have any multivans available. Neat.
The very nice agent tried to convince us that the Vovlo she had on hand was the “largest in the fleet” and would work just fine for the 6 of us + our luggage. We crammed into this XC-90, which is even more fun with exhausted and post-puke kids, in case you’re wondering.
Time to pivot
I had a plan for sightseeing that day, but we needed showers and no one was in a mood to walk around. Luckily, our house was available early, so we were able to check in, get cleaned up, and pile back into our XC-90 without our bags, with was much more comfortable.
That evening, Enterprise had a van get dropped off that they said we could pick up. Too bad we were staying an hour and a half away from that location and couldn’t make it back before they closed.
When we were finally able to go pick up the van a couple days later, we noticed a bright orange one sitting out front before we even turned into the lot. It was love at first sight. Chasing Coastlines fam, meet Sheldon.
Let’s be real, it would be easier to travel without kids
It’s definitely not cheaper to bring them. It’s not easier. Nor is it more convenient, other than the fact that it takes a full team (thanks, Papa & ZZ) and a Herculean effort to actually leave them behind.
Clearly, this international flight situation would’ve been a piece of cake with just the two of us.
But it’s important to have these adventures together
It’s impossible to count the benefits & lessons that family travel gives our kids (and us, to be honest).
We’ll get into that, but also there’s a shorter window on these trips than it feels like. Lord willing, kid-free trips will always be there as an option for us.
The years where our kids want to hold our hands on a glacier, still think every ferry ride is the best part of the day, ask a hundred questions about a Highland cow….those aren’t coming back. We’d rather spend these days somewhere real together.
In the same way you marvel at the ocean, or a snow day, or a roly poly in a different way once you’re seeing it through your kid’s eyes, the same is true of travel together.
When we’re exploring with our kids, I feel like I’m learning about a place and experiencing the beauty myself, but also by watching them soak it in.
Kids are way more capable than the travel industry assumes
Kids are more capable than the travel industry gives them credit for. The whole “kid friendly” category (clubs, resorts, theme parks) is built on the assumption that children need padding between them and the actual place. We’ve found the opposite is usually true.
They can handle a long hike, a longer drive, a menu they can’t read, a language they don’t speak. Underestimating them is the real mistake.
Honestly, they can even handle international flights and too little sleep (for a bit) and food that isn’t what they’re used to eating.
Travel teaches life lessons & builds resilience
Encouraging them to do a longer hike than you thought they could handle, watching them try new foods or climb even higher than you wanted them to climb all builds confidence and resilience.
A road trip or a national park forces some amount of waiting, boredom, adapting, and problem-solving. A curated resort insulates kids from all of it (or at least that’s the goal).
Trust me, as an enneagram 7, I’m not advocating for every trip being a character building experience vs a fun time to explore, but the truth is that both things are happening when you travel. Every discomfort you encounter on a trip is also a small lesson you take away from it.
On the day that we finally picked up Sheldon, we were also meeting up with Chelsea’s family, as they had just flown in from Denmark to stay with us. They had their own totally imperfect flight that morning (a story for another day) and we had to figure out a good spot to meet up despite how our days had already gone sideways. We chose Aviemore because of our additional drive to Inverness as they were driving up from Edinburgh.
This led us to choosing a hike at Loch an Eilean, which led to the kids stripping down to their underwear and swimming to castle ruins in the middle of the loch. Which is hands down one of every single person’s favorite memories from the entire trip.
What could’ve been a boring additional 2 hour drive turned into one of our favorite afternoons of the whole trip. Without all of those hiccups, I truly don’t know if that hike & swim would’ve happened. But now I can’t imagine Scotland without it.
Kids don’t actually just need “kid friendly” experiences
Honestly, I don’t even really believe that’s a thing.
Maybe that’s what makes me so crazy about it. Never have I ever met a kid who wasn’t excited to throw something (hopefully a rock or a stick) into a body of water. Even at ages 8-12, our entire crew of 7 has always wanted to do that daily in whatever state or country we’re in.
They’re thrilled to climb as high as they can on a boulder, explore a cave, collect sea glass, play pretend while visiting historic castle ruins, or roll down a hill of grass. All natural, not created or curated just for them.
Luckily, nobody designed that loch to entertain our kids
A theme park is designed around a child’s attention span and comfort. A loch is not. A Highland cow, a fjord, the Isle of Skye — none of it exists to entertain our kids. And that’s exactly what makes it interesting to them: it’s not a show, it’s just true. Curiosity works differently when the thing in front of you wasn’t built to be looked at.
We get the privilege of learning about the world with our kids. We can teach them things that we know, take them places we love, and explore and learn new things and places together.
Kids aren’t born with an expectation of Disney World or constant entertainment or the most expensive resort & kids club. They’re born with curiosity and wonder and imagination.
This loch swim happened completely unplanned and as a result of several things that didn’t go correctly / according to plan. But it was literally kid (and parent) perfection. They were genuinely so joyful as this unfolded and they’ve talked about it so many times in the past few months since the trip.
There was no line to stand in, nothing that was created just for kids, not even something that millions of other parents had suggested we try. Just a natural loch with historic castle ruins in the middle of it, and parents who said yes to underwear-clad swimming in the freezing water.
Perfect vacations are forgettable
At the end of the day, nobody tells the story of the boring rental car pickup that worked out easily ten years later. They tell stories about the ferry that was late, the coffee order that was wrong and came in a tiny cup that they got to drink, the time the rental car place tried to tell you a Volvo was the largest in their fleet. The friction is the souvenir.
Chasing a flawless, frictionless vacation usually produces a forgettable one. Also, I don’t even know if those are truly possible with or without kids. The best family trips are rarely the smoothest — they’re the ones with a little too much walking, weather that wasn’t what you expected, a wrong turn that became the best part of the day.
We choose to travel with our kids because the years are short. We skip the “kid friendly” padding because we want them to meet the real place, not a version built for them. And we’ve stopped needing it to be perfect, because the parts that go sideways are the parts they’ll remember.
Sheldon is still one of the most-talked about parts of our trip. All 7 kids fought to ride in Sheldy each time we drove somewhere. Being able to find him from the top of a mountain was maybe the most convenient part of that bright orange color.
Telling & re-telling the story of how we got Sheldon turned out to be pretty hilarious (it took longer for the puke kid to come around on that one). Nothing about that first day went to plan, but the moments that happened because of the way it went off the rails? I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Try one imperfect trip this year
Literally as I was writing & editing this post I heard our collective 7 kids talk about 3 different “imperfect” parts of past trips we’ve taken. Maybe I was on high alert for these stories, but it made me laugh to see how often they really do reference, think about, or laugh about these moments.
So here’s a new challenge: try one imperfect trip this year. Bring the kids with you when you’re wondering if you shouldn’t, skip the kids club, take the ferry that might be late, let the day go a little sideways. See what your kids remember.
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